Last night I was asked to "chaperone" a tri-stake youth dance that my mom was helping to plan. (Funny seeing as how I've only been out of youth for seven months... and six of the seven have been spent in a BYU YSA ward... aka babysitting for college kids haha. Okay that was harsh. I promise I LOVE BYU. Anyways, I digress...)
I should preface this post by saying that dances were alllllllways my favorite youth activity. I loved getting all gussied up for hours ahead of time, carpooling up to the stake center with all of the others girls from my ward, chit chatting the entire way. I loved the suspense of waiting to see who was going to as who to dance and dancing the night away to all of our favorite songs.
So I was pretty excited...to say in the least...yesterday evening when all the memories started flooding back on the drive to the dance. I couldn't wait to help set up, chat with the other adults, and then sit back and watch the entertainment ensue. ;)
And then the music started.
And no one. was. dancing.
....
........
...........
Okay. Now I remember... No one likes to be the first out there. No one wants to walk away from the refreshment table and get the actual party started. But COME ON.
I don't know what happened in my six months of being out of the youth program, but some self consciousness has melted away and time has become of much greater value to me. So watching my baby sister just STAND THERE and not dance for fear of embarrassment was painful. So what did I do? What any good big sister would do.
I walked right over to the circle.
And started to dance.
All by myself.
Oh I got them moving. Whether it was from sheer humiliation of being associated with the 19-year-old college kid who couldn't seem to grow up and get out of the youth program, or whether I actually got them to break out of their shell...I'll never know. (But I can take a preeettttyyy good guess. ;))
After I was satisfied with the results, I walked quietly back over to my spot behind the refreshment table with the other "adults" (no one ever really grows up, right?!) I was able to observe the rest of the evening. And I began to notice some things. Being one who is always up for analogies (almost to a fault) I compiled my thoughts and feelings into a list (being one who is always up for lists ;)). Thus...
What I Learned About My Future Mr. At A Youth Dance
- He asks a different girl to dance with each slow song.
EvenEspecially the one in the corner who is all alone. Every one deserves a great night, and he wants to make that happen. I hope that he does this even thought there is probably that one girl he'd like to dance away the night with. But I hope he was able to look outside of himself and find a way to make other people feel happy. That is so important.
- He dances like no one is watching as has a awesome time while he's at it. The refreshment table's great. Not gonna argue with that one. But this is a dance. And I hope that at his youth dances, he came to dance. No matter how poorly. No matter how old the music was (or the DJ for that matter). I think dancing is so. much. fun. I'm terrible. I'll be the very first to admit it! When I was 14, did I let that hold me back? Absolutely. Do I now? Heck no. Because 1) I want to have fun and not waste my time standing still in a dimly lit room. That's not what I came to do and 2) I use to worry that people would watch and make fun... but honestly, they're too worried about what they look like to even notice you. And if they do you probably gave them a good laugh...So you do you. I hope my future Mr. danced like no one was watching and had a ton of fun while at it. Because I want us to be unapologetically us and have a ton of fun while we're at it.
- I hope he's respectful to the adult leaders and listens to their requests. You know that saying that suggests you watch how a boy treats his mama and it'll show you how he'll treat his wife? I think the same applies to all authority figures. And respect is just huge on it's own. Funniness, humor, and wit will go so far. But politeness and humility will take you so much farther... In my opinion...
- I hope he was attentive and reverent during the pre-dance devotional. That may be a little much to ask. Boys will be boys. But I hope he was respectful and put his phone away and listened and learned. Someone gave their time to prepare this message for the youth. They prayerfully and carefully selected a topic out of love for the kids there that night. So I hope he got the most out of it that he could so that he set an example for those around him. It means a lot at a simple pre dance devotional, but it means even more in a discussion with your fiancé, or in a time of challenge that your working through with your spouse, or in a sacrament meeting with your kiddos on the pew next to you, learning from your every move.
- I hope he stayed through the whole dance and then helped clean up/take down afterwards. To me this always shows hard work. And hard work is something that I've been taught to value. Sure, there's the ice cream with friends after the dance, or the long drive home, or the early Sunday meeting the next morning. But seeing the night through to the end and picking up the evening shows so much to those who prepared the event. It tells them, "Thank you. I really did enjoy this evening. Thanks for all the handwork you put into it." It says a lot. It's not always fun. But it is always noticed and appreciated.
Now I hope that didn't come across as too nit-picky. That's not what I intended at all! And obviously, these things apply to the girls too. We're definitely not off the hook and we have a lot of work to do.
It was a fun evening... full of nostalgia and missing friends and memories with them and realizing qualities that I want the person I'm privileged to spend time and all eternity with to have. (And that I hope I can develop in myself even more!)
I don't ever want to go back to the 14-year-old days haha, but maybe some of my fearless dance moves can rub off on them. ;)
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